August 5, 2009

  • Christian Singleness

    I just read a great article in Christianity Today about singleness.

    I recommend this article because of I have more than skin in this game, I have flesh and blood.  Then, I also have devout and wonderful Christian Xanga friends that also are working with these issues, or these issues are working them over.

    The article and the book called Singled Out are written by two mature Christian women who happen to be single.

    The problem, as they describe it, is that marriage is viewed as the ideal state for everyone, when Paul clearly says that some are called to singleness.  Also that marriage is the example used by Paul to describe the relationship between Christ and the church. 

    However, singleness should not be viewed as abstinence waiting for marriage, but as chastity because of devotion to Christ: there are things a single person can do for God that a married person cannot do, a la Lottie Diggs Moon and missions to the Chinese before the Communist takeover.  Lottie Moon gave away her personal wealth, and even her own food, for the people she served in China.  Lottie Moon died of starvation in Kobe Harbor, JA on Christmas Eve, weighing only 50 pounds because she gave away her own food.

    This article and book may be worth checking out by heartbroken Christian singles who are waiting for their Christian mate, and/or their loving and concerned friends.

    John Piper also recently wrote about this, quoting C.S. Lewis.  He said something we have often counseled married couples with: in marriage the husband's position of "headship" is to reflect that of Christ and the church.  "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her;" (Eph 5:25　NAS).

    When Christ gave himself up for the church, he DIED for her.  Husbands, guys, this is a lot more than our western model of being in charge; this is a model of suffering, of service, of tolerance and acceptance; grace, mercy, and forgiveness.  All of these are attributes of Christ toward the church, for which He 'gave Himself up.'  Husbands, guys, if we would love our wives sacrificially as Christ loved (that is, loves) the church, there would not be all the divorces we see among Christians (or should I say 'christians?').  I have heard Christian ladies say that would make it easy for them to fulfill their part in the Eph 5 passage; to be subject to their husbands.

    I pray for my single friends and my 'skin.'

Comments (1)

  • I admit I don't have the compassion I should towards people who complain about being single, particularly because I know how the church, traditionlly, has treated single people - i.e. that they are "less" or that they haven't "earned" marriage by being a Good Christian (no joked, I had someone tell me that once: God only gives marriage to people who are really good and since I wasn't married, I must not be a good Christian).
    I lack compassion because I don't find being married any easier or more then being single. They are different: different trials, different joys, different ways to serve. Complaining about the place God has put you, either married or single, is to show that you don't trust God's wisdom for your life. Each state-of-being offers unique ways to know God, to serve God, to be refined by God. Neither is better then the other. Aren't we told to be content with God's plan for our life, not to complain because we aren't where we want to be, but to strive to glorify God thru our lives not matter what state we are in?
    Sorry, I get on a bit of soap box about this subject, lol. ~ L

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